There are many times in life where I have regretted my past actions, for one reason or another; many times where I’ve regretted my decisions. After all, even those who are guided by and tempered by the goodness that is the Light make mistakes. It is for this reason that I have decided to keep a journal, fearing that the times that lay ahead of me are perhaps far more turbulent than I initially thought.
As an aspiring Paladin, a champion of the Light, it is my duty to be equally strong of mind, as I am of body. I am to be more than just a warrior; I am to be a beacon of hope, and a library of knowledge. Having completed my martial training in Northrend, and having already studied the various codices pertaining to the Light and its exact nature, the only leg of my journey that remains is that of the mind. I am strong of body, strong of spirit, but I am not yet a Paladin.
All that stands before me now, is the suite of courses I have been enrolled in, in order to temper my mind, to mold me into an individual worthy of being called a Paladin. My former mentor, Highlord Tirion Fordring insisted that I take some of the more “creative” and “artistic” classes being offered, and I was too meek to go against his advice.
So here I am, in a course entitled, “Creative Writing”, instructed by Textweaver Gounis. I’ve only been here a day and already I’m second guessing my decision to enroll. I have so many doubtful thoughts, so many apprehensions about it all, even still. It was what inspired me to keep this hidden journal. The list below preceeded this foreword chronologically. I just had to get my thoughts down onto paper at the time, and although I have many more doubts than this, ten apprehensions about this creative writing class is all that I could muster before I forced myself to put down my quill and press onwards. All I can hope for now is that the Light will see me through …
… although in a setting such as this, it may be one of those times where even the Light cannot reassure me entirely.
1.) I’m rather intimidated by the demographic of this class. So many of my fellow classmates are older than me, and it makes me believe that perhaps I’m out of place here. It also doesn’t help that I think I spy a warlock in the corner of the room …
2.) Truth be told, I’ve always enjoyed writing and telling stories. During my time in Northrend, I kept a bard, as many aspiring champions do, and I’ve learned a great deal about the craft of storytelling from him. Even so, I’ve always kept my ideas and stories to myself, and so being in an environment where you actually have to openly share your work with others doesn’t reassure me that this was a good decision.
3.) I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve misused my holy powers on several occasions, one of the most common, and perhaps most egregious being that I’ve used them to circumvent the so called “proper” way to pen stories, using quill and parchment. I still technically use a quill and parchment, but I may have, well, used my powers to not have to actually write down the words I want put onto the page. While I personally believe ‘typing’ as I have come to call my circumvention of traditional story writing, is just as legitimate as the tried and true method of written story telling, others disagree. Textweaver Gounis forewarned all of her pupils that much of the writing done in class would be carried out through the use of quill and parchment, as it has been for millenia. ‘Typing’ is so much faster and easier than traditional writing, but the instructor’s word is law, and I’m not one to disagree. It seems that the ol’ quill and I are going to be getting reacquainted during my tenure here. Light have mercy on my soul.
4.) I feared initially that I would be a fish out water in this class, and it appears my suspicions held true. The course is populated mostly by mages, warlocks, and priests – the kind of people you usually associate with the arts. I don’t think there’s even a single other paladin in this course, and even if there is, I don’t know him or her. I don’t even think any of my friends enrolled in this course; it appears I stand alone, for the time being.
5.) I’ve written in the past, and although I’ve mostly kept to myself, there have been a few times I’ve published my works, but always under a pen name, assuring complete anonymity. I’ve always been able to keep critics at arms length, but now, in person, it all seems much more personal. I fear that I may not be able to keep my composure, or take criticism as well I as when am able to hide behind my fake name.
6.) I’ve never been one to shy away from hard work when it is something I am passionate about, but … Textweaver Gounis takes almost a sadistic glee in telling us just how much writing we have ahead of us. I’m beginning to believe I may have bit off more than I ca chew. What’s even more disconcerting is the glint of measured insanity denoting creativity in her eyes that is the hallmark of a true writer, and … it frightens me. Even more so when I realize that I am among others like me, despite our apparent differences. Light have mercy on me the day I can find common ground with a mage, or Light forbid, a warlock. Maybe I really am just as crazy as everyone else, perhaps even more so for trying to convince myself I’m not.
7.) While I wouldn’t exactly call myself normal, I’ve never really considered myself to be that out of the ordinary, but when it comes to writing and storytelling, I sometimes feel like I’m almost a different person when I write. Here, in this class surrounded by so many other people, I feel like people might judge me by the kinds of things I write about, rather than the person I am, or even how I write.
8.) I tend to stick to writing and reading the genres I enjoy most, like adventure for instance, but I fear that I may be pushed outside my comfort zone with this class, challenged to write in a style or genre I may very well be absolutely terrible at. Being around all these people who will undoubtedly scrutinize my experimental work doesn’t make me feel any better either … especially the warlocks.
9.) Textweaver Gounis assures us that this class will be a lot of work, but that it will also be a lot of fun. That’s all good and well, and I can even get on board with writing traditionally but what really bothers me is an activity she likes to call “Workshopping”, where one pupil’s work is shared with and criticized by the rest of the class. She assures us that it will help us improve as writers, and even though I have no reason to doubt that it will, the thought of having to put my work out there, to have it be criticized, deconstructed and torn apart not by faceless critics anymore, but by people I will see every day, it makes me genuinely uneasy. I have my reservations about this class.
10.) You know those warlocks I keep mentioning? Yeah, one of them has a pet imp and Textweaver Gounis doesn’t seem to care. I can’t bring my lightforged sword to class, but the warlock is allowed to have a demon alight with fel fire napping on his desk? I sense discrimination, and demonic incursions in the near future.
Redemption Of A Fallen Paladin 